It’s been three weeks, four days, and twenty-something hours.
I try to sleep, wake up, take extra long showers.
And when I think about the pain my heart thumps inside my chest
Unless I’m distracted or busy, the thumps don’t seem to rest.
When I try to write my words just don’t come through
Because I only want to write a letter that will get to you.
But heaven doesn’t have same day delivery.
But someday we’ll have our chat. Alone, just you and me.
I wish that I could hold your hand,
and pull you through the pain.
But diabetes won the match,
You put up quite the fight against the strain.
And now all I think about is all the wasted time.
Regrets got a choking grip.
It’s torturing my mind.
I pray that you feel my love
Even though you’re far away.
I live each day hoping that I’ll know for sure some day.
When I stare in the mirror at two black brown eyes.
I see you, I see me, a blur between the lines.
And when I hear my brother laugh,
It’s just a tenor rendition of yours.
And because of this moving on feels just like a chore.
But this was just to let it out.
To cry a tear in words.
But someday you will hold my hand.
And we’ll soar above with birds.
But that won’t be till my sun has set.
I have many days left to live.
But Daddy, I regret,
The time I did not give.
When I saw you laying in a box,
I felt you cold, un alive.
I closed my eyes and brushed your hand and hoped for you to rise.
Please if you read these words I’ve shared,
Do one thing for me.
Hold your father extra tight and say “I love you” daily.