I like being busy. Actually, it’s something I think I’m good at. I enjoy arranging my schedule like a bunch of Tetris pieces and seeing if I can manage to fit them together before it all falls apart. And as I said, I’m often good at this. But this past weekend I had a bit of a scare. I had Sears shenanigans all Saturday and then work and rehearsal on Sunday. I somehow figured out that I had enough time to go directly from work, to play rehearsal. After a quick crammed change out of my extremely masculine and incredibly crummy work clothes and into my girly, comfy rehearsal clothes and a speedy stop at subway, I made it rehearsal on time. At least it was on time according to my schedule.
But when I got there everyone was already present and working on a scene. I had failed myself! My plans had fallen apart! I was…. dare I say it… not only late… But WRONG!
Could it be?
After spending the remainder of the 7 hours of rehearsal a bit on the edge of my seat, we received our weekly announcements. And I received a surprising message from our stage manager saying that many people showed up to rehearsal before they were called. I wasn’t wrong! In fact, I was right… Very, very right!
Now this is another one of those “Ashley makes a bigger deal than necessary” stories. You see this story is exactly where I am in my life at this moment. I’m showing up to the next stage of my life feeling like I’m late. Everyone around me has made elaborate plans for next year. Many of my pals are heading off to college, university or a victory lap, while I have chosen to take a year off to work, volunteer and cross a few more things off of my bucket list. In the pit of my stomach I feel sick. It’s a mixture of nerves, self-doubt and knowing that ultimately I am doing what is right for MYSELF.
See, when I showed up to rehearsal, I wasn’t late. But if many of my other cast members showed up at the same time as me, they would have been late because it was MY time.
This was nice reminder that though sometimes at surface value it appears that you are late or wrong, but within the context of your own life schedule, you’re right on time.