17 Things I’ve Learned in 17 Years

    I’ve been seventeen for just over two months now which means I’m on the brink of being an adult.  So since I’m basically an adult I must know everything, right? RIGHT?!

Okay, so I might not know a lot. In fact, I don’t know much…

Well, whatever *insert sassy snaps here* Here is some of the best advice you will ever find on the world wide web:

  1. With great hair, comes great responsibility. For me this equates to sitting at the back of the classroom or tying my beastly hair back in order to not only block the board, but to also avoid eating classmates pencils.
  2. Leave pictures on Facebook from when you were  a preteen. It gives hope to those that are suffering through the pains of puberty, while simultaneously impressing people with how much you have improved.  I count it as community service.
  3. Happy Mum, happy bum.   This means that if you stay on your parents good side you won’t be sitting at home while all of your friends are out on adventures.
  4. The only lie that is okay to use is “My mom says I can’t”.  Sometimes you just don’t want to go out, but your cool kid reputation can’t handle admitting you’d rather stay home and watch Disney movies with your hamster. That’s when you pull out the trusty, dusty “Mom says no” card.  Works like a charm.
  5. Don’t (admit to) fart(ing).  Blame the dog. No dog?  Blame the youngest male in the room.  No males? Blame the most girly female.  Her reputation can handle it. But of course, you don’t fart.  So you don’t need to blame anyone.
  6. Broken cookies have no calories.  It’s been scientifically proven (according to my mom) that all of the calories fall out of the cookie when they are broken.  And if your pants are too tight, it’s because of the dryer, not the four dozen broken cookies you ate. Because science says so, that’s why. 
  7. Kissing is weird. It’s like “Hey, I like you. Can you let me check your dental hygiene with my face?” It’s strange, just strange.
  8. Your eye brows are sisters not twins. (Mine are more like distant cousins) accept that they will never be identical and you will let go of 50% of your self -hate.
  9. If you’re not asked what drugs you’re on, you probably aren’t living life right.  You don’t need to do drugs. Actually I recommend not doing any at all.  But if people think you’ve gone a little loco, you are probably are taking chances and that’s usually a good thing. Because “If you aren’t living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space”.
  10. If you can’t laugh at yourself, you aren’t allowed to laugh at anyone else.  You think that guys an idiot?  Well guess what skippy, we all have our stupid-stupid-dumb- dumb-pants moments in life. 
  11. Try something that makes you (or the stranger sitting beside you on the bus) uncomfortable everyday.                    Because here is your comfort zone…  <                                                                            >  …and here is where the magic happens.
  12. Don’t fear people. We all find ourselves scared to talk to somebody because they are too cool, or too scary, or too smart.  That just means they are different from how you are, or at least their reputation makes them seem that way. Get out there and talk to them, chances are you’ll learn something from them since you are so different.  Be without fear like Macbeth, and then “No man that’s born of woman Shall e’er have power upon thee.” Except you have to still follow the rules.  And you don’t get to become a tyrant and rule Scotland…  Sorry.  You can learn from others and make unexpected friendships.
  13. This is my lucky number so I’ll give you the best advice I’ve ever heard: Life’s short, eat desert first.
  14. Don’t be prejudice.  By this I mean don’t pre- judge people.  Listening to rumors or making assumptions gets you nowhere.  By looking at me at this very second you might guess I am an old man because of my oversized wooly sweaters and abnormally thick socks, but once you get up close you can (hopefully) see that I am a teenage girl. Judging a book by it’s cover has lead me to reading many boring books. Now I leaf through a few pages, then I can say if it has a good story or not.
  15. If you don’t understand what the heck is going on with your life , pray for understanding. It’s your life, take the time to reflect and figure out what you want to do with it, then make it happen. 
  16. If you do understand what is going on in your life and you don’t like it, pray for guidance. If it’s within your circle of control you can and should change it, if it’s not, let it go.
  17. Put as much effort into your life as women on pinterest put into their eye brows. Be the best you can be and recognize that though you aren’t perfect, you can be the perfect version of yourself (yes you will still dance like a drunk chicken and have that reappearing zit, but you will know that you give as much as you can to improve the world and that’s what matters).

That’s my advice.

I know, most of it is pretty complex stuff, but it should be enough tips to get someone through at least seventeen years seventeen minutes.  Either way I hope my journey to  almost adulthood has given me enough knowledge to get me through another year of life without stressing over my eyebrows too much.

Please comment below any life changing advice you’ve collected during your time roaming this planet.


4 thoughts on “17 Things I’ve Learned in 17 Years

  1. I love this so much, you really have perfected your writing voice, and I enjoy all the metaphors. Life seems so much simpler when you talk about it that way. Good job!

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